Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Amazon Just Keeps Beating Me Down

I have one neice, two nephews and the little girl across the street to buy Christmas presents for. I hate shopping and am not particularly a fan of Christmas and definitely not a fan of shopping at Christmas. These two things should never be combined and if they are, they should be done from the comfort of one's own, comfy desk chair. I declared this year, as I have in the past that I will be doing all my Christmas shopping via the internet. In other years this has failed miserably. This year I had every intention of sticking with the plan and staying on line instead of standing in line. Amazon seems to be working against me though.

Little Miss Maddy, the little girl across the street is no problem. She's a great, poor kid and basically I could give her sticks and a bucket and she'd be happy as a clam. Fortunately for her, she has me and will not be getting sticks and a bucket for Christmas. Personally, I'm thinking much larger, more obnoxious expensive toys to annoy the hell out of her father who thinks she's already spoiled and has too many toys, but this is mostly just to piss him off since Maddy will be happy with whatever I get her. I hear she's totally into Polly Pocket and how hard can that be?

On Sunday, I asked hubby to call his brother and sister-in-law and find out what their children wanted for Christmas. I made him do it because generally I call, against my will and aggravated, and only end up getting scolded for past Christmas and birthday gifts filling up their small house. I am their aunt and am of the mind that it is my job to spoil them insanely no matter what their parents say. Plus, I'm a fan of toys and no child should have to suffer with a sweater for Christmas. Their parents can buy them clothes. I will not! This behavior has led in the past to their loving me and not even remembering hubby even though he is their blood relative and techinically I have been buying them gifts for the last seven years and have really only been their aunt for two. This amuses me, especially when they come running to me and the baby can even say my name.

He called and then proceeded to send me a very non-specific list of what they want. For the eldest, a boy of nearly twelve, on the list is something called Magnamen (I had no clue what they were) and next to it, hubby has typed 'Magnetic Men' (Still never heard of them). For the middle child, a girl of five years (same age as the little girl across the street) I get Bratz stuff and girly girl stuff on the list. What the hell is that supposed to mean? And last, the littlest, a boy of almost three, I get on the list, cars/truck and Thomas and Friends stuff.

I have issues with Bratz toys. First, they have large alien-like heads and scare the bejesus out of me. Second, it's all insanely over priced, badly constructed crap (I have a younger, girl cousin into this stuff and have inspected her collection over the years to find the merchandise inferior). So, I huffed and puffed and then resigned myself to the fact that this is probably what the girl would end up with whether I liked it or not.

Today is the fourth time I have attempted to shop for these children. It's basically become a daily habit of mine now, opening said e-mail from hubby with their faulty X-mas list and snarling at it and then closing it again and going on about my business doing something else. Today though, I actually made it all the way to to do the shopping.

Every time I try to find something, it says 'We will e-mail you when this item becomes available' or 'This item is currently unavailable'. Does Amazon actually have any merchandise this Christmas? If I spend $60 on Bratz junk for the neice and girly across the street I get a free RC Bratz Classic Cruiser (This offer ends Dec. 10) but that's not likely to happen seeing as how they don't actually seem to have $60 worth of Bratz stuff available. They have 120 search results for Bratz, and yet they don't seem to have anything nor do they seem to know when the stuff might show up and be available!

First, this caused me to send BEG an e-mail about how I am dangerously close to banging my head on my desk or any other available hard, flat surface. Then I decided to try no friggin' avail. This led me to calling my sister-in-law to inquire as to whether or not there was other stuff the children wanted. The children were actually home which I did not expect, seeing as how it was the middle of the day in the middle of the school week. Having them there was not helpful at all though since she asked them if they had other ideas and basically kept me hanging on the line. It's a good thing I have free long distance with my phone service or this particular call could have cost me a small fortune.

So, after this call, I thought I might as well check in with Little Maddy's parents to see if there was something special she wanted for Christmas, just in case. Shortleash answered the phone since he was the only of her parents home due to his now working second shift. I was like, "What does Little Miss Maddy want for Christmas?" to which I received a lot of grumbling and chose to rephrase. Again I was like, "What does Maddy want for Christmas that you don't want her to have?" In the end it was decided that her mother would call me back later since she apparently would have a better idea. I assume this to be true because when I asked him when the new baby was due, he told me so hilariously, in the future and was really serious about it.

Anyway, armed with the other three children's new Christmas list I headed back to Amazon to see if they possibly had any of this stuff. Much to my dismay, they did not (same situation as earlier), however I seem to have fallen into Kinkypoe's strange recommendations from Amazon shit.

I searched for Star Wars Legos...they insisted that customers that had searched for this and had obviously not gotten it from them ended up purchasing the children's game 'Guess Who?' These two items are not even remotely related except for the fact that in the actual Toys R Us store they are like an aisle apart.

So, no shopping has been completed thanks to the lack of merchandise Amazon actually has. I do think that I have figured out how there recommendations work though. You tell them you want something. They claim not to have it or even know when it's coming and then they give you a list they've comprised of things they have a lot of that you can settle for in a time crunch!

I think Amazon might be run by the U.S. government!

(these three children thankfully won't have birthdays for another five months...yes, they were all born in the same month and of the same week in fact)


Blogger Black Eyed Gurl said...
<~ Riss has an alarming rant about the Bratz Baby Dolls, and now I am even more terrified of the Bratz than before. (Seriously, babies need sheer thongs? I though babies wore diapers!

Maybe we can just act like ther eis no Christmas this year?

9:26 AM  

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