Saturday, May 06, 2006

That's An Ostritch!

I don't like that I live in a world where every two minutes, The Bionic Woman tries to sell me a mechanical bed via the television. I don't know what they're tryin' to acccomplish, but I also don't know anyone who would buy a bed from the TV, let alone Lindsay Wagner. Does she even need a bed? Does she sleep? Why don't you just sign up The Incredible Hulk to sell Avon door-to-door in full 'Hulk' mode?

I also don't like that I live in a word where a product/tool called 'The Luma-Tweeze' exists and I can own it for just $19.95. How picky do you have to be to need a lighted, magnifing tweezers?

That's an ostritch!

Can someone please tell me when the new Enya CD became the so-called perfect gift for Mother's Day? It's more like the perfect gift for someone with insomnia. My mom works. She might be tired, but I really don't think she needs an Enya-induced coma for Mother's Day. Even these cats can't handle it...

So, there was blog-surfing. I saw on some religious freak's blog that their headline is actually, "...Been there, done that, NOTHING compares to Jesus!" WTF??? NOTHING compares to Jesus? I've had sex...and ice cream... Orgasms and Hagen Daaz win over church any day. Also, if this 'NOTHING compares to Jesus were true, Sinead O'Connor would have been a completely different type of person. I like her just the way she is...tearin' up pictures of The Pope and all and with her neo-nazi boot camp look! This of course only got stranger when I clicked the number it told me to and was taken to another blog. That one's latest post was titled, "Been There, Done That". Apparently everyone was over everything yesterday. And then literally the next time I clicked it was KP's blog and her post about how it's okay to spank her (very literally, I suspect) for not being more on top of her blogging. The blog-verse is such a special place!

I am a little worried about the number of people out there blogging about the Tempra-IC (Instant Cool) self-refrigerating beverage can though. It's just baffling (16, after I started counting). Don't people have anything better to do? I hear there's a line forming to spank KP as I blog this. And secondly, the entire idea of this much technology for a beverage can really freaks me out. Tomorrow I'll probably wake up in an 'I Robot' kind of world and there'll be a Cylon sitting on my front steps waiting to impregnate me with a programmed-love-child...and wouldn't that just be too much? The speed at which the world around me produces new technology now days is just insane! Geeks! Slow down a little. I don't want a toaster shaped baby! I don't even put my soda in the refrigerator!

I'm not sure if this is technology moving forward or backwards. But hey, who doesn't love LEGOS?

Also, disturbing to know, while watching a 'Kate & Allie' marathon (don't ask), Chip was rattling off statistics. Back when that show was on, there was only one murder in this country every two and a half hours! Hmmm. Maybe they should revive the show and get the country back on track, although, after having suffered through the 'Annie on Broadway' casts version of how mentruation works many times in my youth, I don't know how well I'd take to seeing that girl that was Jenny ever again.

Cheap swords? I'm sorry, but I think if you're gonna buy a sword, it should be quality. Swords aren't a place for skimping to save a buck or two...and you never really know when a swarm of dragons may show up on your block!

And finally, I don't have even the faintest clue what this is, but it's Japanese and it scares the bejesus out of me! Those damned wacky Japanese!


Blogger Black Eyed Gurl said...

Most Japanese stuff scares the crap out of me, the Hello Kitty family is probably the only exception to this rule.

I will never stop loving that picture of the passed out kitten eating crunchies. That is just the cutest thing ever!

1:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hehe, Enya sure does induce comas

By the way you posted a picture of an emu... this is an ostrich:

2:19 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Yeah, but have you EVER had ice cream AND an orgasm while IN church? Now THAT is a kinky thrill. Rather like stampeding cattle through the vatican.

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5:37 PM  

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