Monday, April 17, 2006

All Around the Mulberry Bush...

So, I've been thinking about this. I've been sick. Cut me some slack.

When on Earth, does a monkey chase a weasel around a mulberry bush? When are these three things even in the same place. I'd have to think the zoo would be the most likely bet on finding at least two of the three things. Does the zoo even have weasels though? I don't remember, but then again, it has been quite a while since I've been to the zoo. Suppposing they do have weasels, I'm sure they are without mulberry bushes. So literally, you would have to go to the zoo...with a mulberry bush (try not to look suspicious and supposing you can find one) and abduct both a monkey and a weasel...and we all know how unruly monkeys can be. It all ends up like the stupid shit they teach in foreign language classes. I took many years of highschool German, not to mention short terms stints with French, Spanish and yes, friggin' latin. Trust me, this nursery song plays out like a bad French lesson where for some reason a monkey is riding a bicycle. It's incredibly arbitrary. Might as well just sing things like "All around the ghetto the INS chases illegal immigrants"'s just as not likely. Or "Up to the top of the condemned building the po-po chases a meth-freak"...although entertaining...also not likely,and in the end, the meth-freak is more likely to jump from the structure than give up. I have to say, speeders...they don't give up when they're geeked! Give 'em a square peg, a round hole and a bindle of glass see what happens. By god, the peg, square or not, is goin' in that hole, even if it requires whittling. How about, "All around the hot, hot desert G-Dub chases Osama Bin Laden"? At least that shit exists and has as of now, been going on for years. At least it gives children some sort of grasp on reality. And what is this business about the cheese standing alone? Why isn't the weasel chasing the cheese? It is a rodent isn't it? We're led to believe that while the monkey is chasing the weasel around said bush, there's a hunk of cheese just off to the side, not tempting either one of them. I have to imagine that you could get a monkey to eat cheese. Cheese is tasty! I could gather an entire team to stand with the cheese. Me and mine...we're all cheese-backers...cheese-heads if you will. It's Wisonsin for the love of JP! No cheese is ever alone here! Hmm...cheese!


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