Monday, March 20, 2006

Where'd They Go?

(Men, you might want to duck and cover...I'm whining about my boobs disappearing!)

I was used to being the totally fit girl who weighed 148 pounds. I had big boobs and am 5'6.5" so weighing that much was never really a problem. I was happy...with my big boobs and no one ever guessed that I weighed that much anyway. It wasn't like I was fat. I eat healthy, for the most part (let's face it, we all need some junk food every now and then). And I was perfectly content. I'm not one of those women that goes around whining about gaining a pound or two. It's not worth it when you think of everything else in life. Thanks yoga.

Then came the start of the surprise weight loss around November of last year. The pounds just started dropping off and by New Year's for no understandable reason...other than I never sleep and run around like a chicken with my head cut off during all the hours that I am awake, I was down to 127 pounds...and the boobs started to disappear. Men, please know that the first noticable place a woman loses weight is in her chest and it's a cruel joke when it happens, especially if you're one of the rare young women like me that has gotten perfectly content with the way they look! Fuck you, yoga!

So, all yoga activity was suspended and I haven't even touched the new yoga mat hubby bought me for Christmas. For the last three months or so, I have also been eating everything that isn't nailed down in the hopes of gaining some weight back...or at least my boobs. I wieghed myself this morning and I have not gained back one single pound. In fact, I probably have dropped a couple more since currently I am currently bloated, surfing the crimson wave. The boobs seemed a little bigger a couple days ago, but the wave is probably to blame for that as well.

All I want is my boobs back, really. Bra shopping is a pain in the ass...especially when one's chest is now down to a high A-cup from a high C-cup (this was big for a girl of my was sort of a Love Hewitt, is she gonna fall over from the weight of her boobs kind of thing). If this keeps going they're likely to go inverted...and wouldn't that be a sight? I am totally lost without them and at this point probably really don't even need to wear a bra...but I was raised by a mother who was all 'never leave home without it' because it's in poor taste.

Seriously, it's disturbing and I have a lot of fine lingerie that will never be worn again if this shit continues. Lack of boobs is making me bitchy and evil, even though most people are tellin' me I look fine and shouldn't worry about it. Some even say it's cause I'm getting older. WTF?

I come from a long line of large breasted women and a lot of them are finely framed like me. And all of a sudden I'm like an outcast. Everyone else got to keep their boobs until the day they died with the exception of one great aunt who had breast cancer...but even she has fake replacements now that are just as big, if not bigger, as her real boobs were.

Arrgh! Miss Maddy's mommy keeps offering the fake ones she had for Halloween...not that she even remotely needed them then and not the she will ever need them again (having babies, whether they live or not is sort of her thing now). I don't want fake tits! I want my real ones back for the love of Joe Pesci!

BTW: I have started up my 10th & Park blog, which can be found on the top of the link list to the right and although it's not very pretty currently (KP will be workin' on the template and is working on the template for this blog), there are like four post now and no readers so far as I know, so check it out please if you have the time. It's all about the shit that goes on in my neighborhood...and most recently Shortleash kicked my dog!


Blogger Ms_S1n1n said...

About 4 years ago, I started losing weight as well. (I was 31 then) Couldn't sleep which I didn't find too annoying as I am a night person. Then, as time went on, I wasn't sleeping for a couple days at a time. Hungry hungry hungry. Got shaky..lost more weight. I got down to 93 pounds. (normally 120 5'4) Boobs...bye bye.

ANYWAY! As it went heartbeat increased and I ran around like I was on speed. Finally went to the doctor...and I had hyperthyroidism.

Fixed me up. But man..on occasion I really miss not having to sleep. I got so much shit done.

Just saying...
just look out for feeling like you are on a meth run or something. Apparently I was a heart attack waiting to happen.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Black Eyed Gurl said...

Sin: I've been trying to get her to go to the doctor for months! But does she listen? NO!

Khrysten: this is your friendly reminder: Don'tforget to get you damn teeth fixed and go to see Miranda!!! See? Hyperthyroidism! Considering how F-ed up our families collective health is (one of our bonding factors), it might behoove you to go check it out! 'm just sayin'...

8:14 AM  
Blogger Ms_S1n1n said...

Yes...GO! If it is hyperthyroidism and you wait even longer than I did...YOUR EYES WILL BULGE LIKE BARBRA BUSH!

10:07 PM  
Blogger IvoryValentine said...

I'm goin' for a physical in April...not because of the maybe being sick thing but because I do it every year. Plus birth control is nice! I'm sure I'm fine. I've talked to my doc about a million times over the last couple months (there's me with the paranoia) and she doesn't seem to be alarmed at all. She just thinks it was whatever 'baby fat' I was still storing from when I was younger and now that I'm getting older it's just come off with the excersize and I've leaned out. If I am sick though, BEG will of course be the first to know...and then the rest of you! Thanks for the concern and SIN, I'm glad to hear your problem was all worked out!

10:02 AM  
Anonymous fragileindustries said...

My weight has yo-yo'ed over the years, but not due to unexplained circumstances (and I agree, an unexplained weight loss of 20 pounds is definitely a reason to see the doctor). No, I'd diet like mad for some occasion (like my wedding) and then it would all come back and more. Now I'm in the middle of my weight range and very happy, thanks. Not so much from yoga, although that's a good reason, but feeling positive about myself and not buying into mannequinism any more. Real women have curves. My point is that any time I got below about 134 (I'm 5'5 and a half) my natural D cup (thanks, mom) would disappear, too. Suddenly I looked like those women in National Geographic, with nipples below my waist. Well, nearly. It is a cruel twist of fate, and has led weaker women than I to get implants (blech). Steve Martin, in "Shopgirl", called the starlet / Baywatch current mandated female form, seen so often in LA and in our pop princesses, "An ironing board topped with two bowling balls." I am reminded of that every time I start to despair about my figure. Real men like real women.

Funny blog!

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY!
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8:39 AM  

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