Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Desperately Seeking Schwartz...

Why don't I have 'Spaceballs' on DVD? I have like 500 other DVDs, and that's not an exaggeration. Why isn't that one in the collection? It seems like a movie I should have. And what worries me more, I don't have it on VHS either...so there's like no 'Spaceballs' in my general vaccinity.

And why all of a sudden do I desperately need to watch 'Spaceballs'? It seems a little strange to me. I don't believe this has ever been a crisis before...wanting to watch that movie and not having it I mean. It's not like I have said, done or seen anything, etc. to have encouraged Spaceballs to pop up in my head. And why the hell hasn't it been on TV lately?

TBS, Why aren't you airing 'Spaceballs' every two hours like you used to in the good ol' days? Where are my three chances to watch, TNT?

Where is my Druish princess? Where's my 'Spaceballs' desert pick and my 'Spaceballs' toilet paper. Where's my statue on the beach and mocking 'Planet of the Apes'...apes. Where else can you see Dick Van Patten these days?

Sometimes you just need to see a slimy, little alien in straw hat, claw out of a a man's chest and woop it up all Vaudeville style. Sometimes the desert needs to be combed. And sometimes ya just need Schwartz...

5 Comments:

Blogger meeyotch said...

Just remember... it's not the size of your schwartz...

it's how you use it!

"I'm a mog... half-man, half-dog... I'm my own best friend"
~Mog

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Malcolm said...

I'm totally with you...Sspaceballs" is on a short list of DVDs I can't seem to pull the trigger on. "Airplane" is on there, too, and I'm not sure why.

5:58 PM  
Blogger raistlinsghost said...

And sometimes, you just need to have a little coffee while you watch radar.

I don't know you and just came across your blog on BE, but I will say this: Spaceballs is one of my all time favourite movies and if you think you need to see it, you have to go out and get the DVD.

I've seen it literally hundreds of times, and even though I can quote the entire movie with the sound off, its still funny.

5:06 AM  
Blogger Betty said...

You always miss what you can't have.

6:46 AM  
Anonymous Alden Bates said...

It should come with a wee plastic flamethrower.

I have "Spaceballs: The Book!" around somewhere, though sadly they took all the swearing out.

6:28 AM  

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