Thursday, February 09, 2006

There's No Escape...

So, this was supposed to be a very hilarious and entertaining post about my colored pencils and how I was recently convinced that gobblins were stealing them and chewing on them, and how I actually went out to the store last night with a list that had on it, 'Colored Pencils...That Don't Suck'. But now, instead, and much to my dismay, we're gonna chat about how I am literally locked in my house!

First off, yesterday we had a freak snowstorm that out of nowhere, dropped five inches on the ground. In my neighborhood this is quite terrifying since they don't bother to plow or salt and almost everyone in my city drives like a maniac. It was also garbage day yesterday, which didn't help. The lack of helping was noticed around the time the garbage truck slid (I didn't really think this was possible) and hit a little red car down near the corner. Then Shortleash, who drives a large Dodge missed his driveway while sliding and ended up parking his truck angerily and mostly on his neighbor's front lawn. Sammy got his car stuck down at the corner and was pushed away by Zack in his UPS truck. Sammy was apparently having a liquor and lottery ticket emergency.

I was supposed to go out and get hubby a lottery ticket, amongst other things, but I decided against it around the time the garbage truck hit the car. I decided the lottery was not worth dying over. BEG backed me up on this notion.

So instead, I hung out and designed quillows (a quillow is a quilt that folds into a pillow for all who don't know), which would be where the graph paper and colored pencils came into play. I would rather take the time/waste the time drawing the patterns up than spend all the time working on the actual product only to find out that I hate it in the end. But there I am with the logic.

I couldn't find my ancient colored pencils and was convinced that they had been stolen by gobblins. I did eventually find them though and found also that they are all crappy and brittle and chewed up. Like I said, they're ancient. So I put 'Colored Pencils...That Don't Suck' on the list of things to get at the store when hubby and the gigantic truck came home to get me there safely.

He got home, very early no less and we departed for the bank and the store. We found that literally it had only snowed as much as it did in the city and harldy at all outside of it. Damned lake effect weather!

All errands were completed, including the purchasing of lottery tickets and colored pencils that don't suck. I also got more graph paper on which they have changed the color of the lines from blue to green and this is really irking me. I imagine I'll get over it though.

...That Don't Suck!

So, this brings us to this morning when I woke to find that I had literally been locked in the house by hubby, who claims he accidentally stuck my keys in his pocket and left. He has my house keys and my car keys...and is more capable of losing them than anyone else I've ever met.

Exhibit A: The Locked Deadbolt

This probalby doesn't seem problematic to anyone, except I have one of those deadbolts as seen just above, that has a lock on both sides and thus the door cannot be opened...especially since hubby also has the spare key, having given his to one of his friends (now in Indiana) many moons ago when he was staying here. Keep in mind that when hubby and his brother installed said deadbolt, I declared it would be problematic. I was right. They should have listened to me.

So, the backdoor is locked...and will not open again until hubby returns with all the keys...if he returns with all the keys.

Hey Look! There's my car! Too bad it's outside!

The not having car keys thing really isn't such a big deal. I really didn't have any plans to go anywhere today, having completed all my errands and shopping last night, but the door thing is a serious pain in the tookis seeing as how we have dogs and they need to go out every now and again.

Fortunately, this is my house and there is another way out that doesn't involve the backdoor or putting the dogs on their leashes (which they are not fond of) and making them pee in the front yard (which they refuse to do). Alternate route is also something the little one seems to not enjoy though.

Alternate route involves going down and through the basement, up a different set of stairs into the rec room and out that door, which apparently is the route the dogs will be taking all day, much to their dislike. Well, Angus doesn't much care, but then again he doesn't much care about anything other than his rawhide. Jezebelle on the other hand is losing her mind since the basement steps are very steep and she knows she's not supposed to be down there. Needless to say, she was carried down after being chased around the first floor for ten minutes of freaking out and then carried back up after she was outside.

Hubby has been called numerous times and yelled at, but BEG, being sub wife and all, if you want to yell about this, you know where to find him later, since I know you'll be just as pissed about this as I am.

After the dogs going outside catastrophe, I tried to calm down and check my e-mail. This activity only led to my PC telling me that my network cable was unplugged numerous times. It was not. The PC was lying or confused. After some poking around, I found that my router is totally thrashed and no longer functions. It has now been bypassed and internet activity resumes as normal, as does quillow design since none that I did yesterday met my high standardss...and it's not like I have anything better to do.

Also, we did not win the lottery! Surprise, surprise!


Blogger Ms_S1n1n said...

Lovely husbands. I have a lovely one as well. When we lived in Maryland, the traffic was heavy at all times and if you didn't have a vehicle, or a key for said vehicle... your mobility was severely impaired. There was a period of about 2 months where lovely husband would leave with every set of keys...AND take my smokes! Can you believe?? I had a wonderful sub wife neighbor, but the one thing she would not do for me...was take me to buy smokes. I doubt I hardly have to express the ferocity he encountered upon his return.

Those 2 months taught me this:
Spare key and pack of cigs are now hidden in the home. Taped underneath the desk, actually. The feeling of desperation is not one I wish to deal with again!

1:03 PM  
Blogger Marti said...

OMG! Are you my long-lost child? LOL!!

Your life sounds just like mine...I am constatly having things go wrong.

LOVE your writing style - I have a deep appreciation for folks who can meet challenges head on with a smile (the Evil Gods HATE that - ~snort~)

My son just had his cell phone stolen. I wrote a funny piece about it if you'd like to read about someone else's troubles - LOL

Great to find your blog through Blog Explosion - I will bookmark you!

3:27 PM  
Blogger Black Eyed Gurl said...

Sub-Wife here, also worst best friend on earth cos I didn't call you yesterday and get to hear about being locked in the house (DAMMIT DAVE!!!!!!!!!) or get to carry forth my sub-wife duties. I suck, I am sorry. I can't believe he did that.
Note to self: Get additional key made....

2:37 PM  

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