Stinky Mimes...

I wanna live where this is necessary, people just wandering around...in traffic...in the desert...while hoola-hooping. I would laugh my ass off if there was an actual death or dismemberment that brought on this sign, some poor hoola-hooper just minding his own business, hooping around the desert and then splat...mowed over by a high-speed vehicle in the night (I'm assuming this would have happened in the dark as the desert is poorly lit at night and one could surely see a person with a hoola-hoop in the daytime...epsecially if they're not blind...Blind people should not be driving cars...unless they're Stevie Wonder, but that's another issue altogether).

I can only imagine the campaign that was launched to get this sign put up. I'm thinking the speech that nailed it home was something like this...

"Dammit, people! Bill WILL BE remembered! He couldn't do much, but he could hoop like no other. It was magnificent (in a very James Lipton kind of way) the way his hoop would go 'round 'n 'round! Ted Speederman has taken that away! This kind of carelessness must be stopped! No more hoopers will die!" (Viva la revelution! Chant, Chant, Chant!)

This would really only be funnier if the pedestrian representative was a mime, although, I have no idea how that would be conveyed on a street sign. Mimes are so quiet and sneaky you may not see them coming. Sure.

Trust me, people. You can always tell when a mime is coming. They have sort of an odor (I'm totally kidding), although I suppose you wouldn't smell that while carelessly racing through the desert (uh-huh, uh-huh) but I bet you could easily convey that on a street sign. I think it would go a little somethin' like this...

Nevermind. My fabulous artist rendering looks more like the ghost of a mime...a Scooby-Doo style villian maybe. Ahh, but the sign would still work if the ghost of a mime was haunting this particular stretch of desert road. On the flipside, my mime pedestrian representative could also pass for a mime puppet, possibly a possessed mime mariennette.

Either way, the entire concept of the hoola-hooper crossing is hilarious...and sort of reminiscent of when the deaf girl got run over by the train while text messaging...although after all the broo-ha-ha that discussion created, I will not be drawing the sign for that.

P.S. I think Katrina Kravy is slowly turning into Allison Gillman. If you live near Milwaukee, you know who they are.