Monday, June 12, 2006

The Incredibly True Adventures of...

'Final Battle' Mal and 'Not Fade Away' Angel...

So, BEG was down a couple weekends ago (uh-huh, uh-huh) and we spent an entire day shopping, mostly at the mall. Shopping for us generally means we go out, to the mall or whatever and raise all sorts of hell. We're loud and obnoxious and all about the mockery. It's not uncommon for BEG to yell profanities in Target at the top of her lungs (I've heard her yell, "FUCK" in Target more than a few times) or for me to yell for her about something from many aisles away. There also tends to be a lot of trying on clothing right out in the open, ala Courtney Love (This usually happens in HOT TOPIC).

Upon our arrival at the mall, post breakfast at the local IHOP, we found that the Suncoast Video was going out of business and selling everything off, super cheap. We were immediately drawn to the action figure section having found it just a few feet away from where it used to be. We oohed and aahed over the rack of remaining marked down action figures which included both 'Final Battle' Mal from the movie SERENITY and 'Not Fade Away' Angel from of course the TV show, 'Angel'. They had to be purchased (Even if only to make sure that Angel was accurately taller than Mal)...along with Willow, Tara and Miss Kitty Fantastico.

Returning home with our many unnecessary purchases (there were some 'Littlest Pet Shop' monkeys and turtles), found us busting into my Mal and Angel setting them free of their packaging, bought for entertainment purposes only having been so cheap and all and not for collectible purposes. Along the way, we got KP on the phone and there was some discussion about Mal doing naughty things to Angel with the screwdriver he came with (While being watched by Willow, Tara and Miss Kitty Fantastico) and there was some issue with keeping Mal's sword in his hand. We also oohed and aahed over the fact that Angel has the good rotating hands for better swrod action (yes, we are this easily amused).

So now I present to you, the beginning adventures of 'Final Battle' Mal and 'Not Fade Away' Angel...or in other words, what unemployed, clearanced out former TV star action figures do when they have no work to speak of...

Mal and Angel take a nice, soothing bubble bath together to start their day...but don't worry folks, they remain fully clothed!

Mal loves a bubbles bath...He also loves his rubber ducky!

Angel on the other hand hates rubber duckies. He thinks they're evil and he lives to slay them!

"I will slay you with my sword, duck!"

Mal is out of the bath, diving in the rescue his ducky before the sword of Angel can pierce her.

A fight for the ducks life breaks out and Mal does not have time to reach for his gun and his own sword is problematic, it won't stay in his hand...but he is sure he will win!

Mal has saved his duck and Angel will just have to learn to cut it some slack. He also has to learn to deal with the stress of being unemployed. It really seems to be getting to him.

As for Mal and his ducky? They're headed back to the tub.

Personally, I can't wait until The Pussycat Dolls dolls come out. I think that Mal and Angel should take them out on dates! Also, Angel should think Nicole is E-V-I-L and try to slay her. Ooh! Maybe we could find a Shakira doll on eBay...

I know there's a Michael Knight action figure around here somewhere although I think it would only be more homo-erotic since the ass of Knight's painted-on pants wore off a long time ago from sitting in the damned 'KIT' car! There could also be a possible 'Mal & Angel's Adventures with Gumby' series on the way.

Stay tuned for Part 2 when Mal and Angel team up to steal a schoolbus from a symbol-less My Little Pony...


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4:29 AM  

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